What’s Happening to Me?

I can’t believe it. I don’t know what to do. I’m at a loss. A complete loss. What is happening to me?

Earlier today I was standing in line at 711 with Gus. A huge group of teenage boys swarmed the back of the line. It’s Friday so they were going on and on about their weekend plans. Their weekend plans including lots of f*%king this chic or that chic. These proclamations were followed by lots other four letter words strung together in some very creative ways.

Before I knew what was happening, before I could stop myself, it came out:

“Do you think you guys could watch your language?”

I said it. I really said it. Even worse, I meant it. Oh my God. Oh my God. I don’t know what to do. This means I’m a grown up. I’m really a grown up.

What if I turn into an even uncooler grown up? What if I start saying things like sneakers and slacks? What if I lose all touch with my hip side? Maybe I already have since I just wrote hip side.

Somebody help me. It happened. It really happened to me.

I think I’m going to run out and get another piercing this weekend. Will that help? I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure I’ve reached the point of no return.

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